i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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