Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
