My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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