Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
