At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have post one night stand depression
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