Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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