And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
