I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
