can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
