so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
