Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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