One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
