It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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