Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
