dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
