Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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