Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
