hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
