I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
