Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
