There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
