Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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