soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I have post one night stand depression
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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