Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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