Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
