How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
