i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
