Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Is it normal to miss your booty call?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

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(208): View more from Idaho

I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.

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(315): View more from New York

They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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(802): View more from Vermont

lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.

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(954): View more from Florida

You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.

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(303): View more from Colorado

These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her

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