Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
