Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize