Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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