When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so much tequila, so little girl.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
