I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize