it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
