she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's never too late to be topless.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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