Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
