garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Life is so much better after having sex.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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