Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
