Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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