I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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