Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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