cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
