She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We are all done wearing pants today
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
