their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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