well I can't set my house on fire every night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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