I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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