He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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