What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
