"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
