Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
